i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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