i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
