He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
