he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
