Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
