If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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