Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
