i can't believe i had my finger in that
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize