neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
