Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
