I just saw a hot homeless man
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
