I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
