nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
