tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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