He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
