? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
