Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I wish there were birth control emojis
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
