So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
love makes seman taste better
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
