Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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