We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
