What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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