i just snorted my name. best moment ever
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
