I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
