Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize