Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
