Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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