Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
