i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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