I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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