I got chris browned last night
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
