Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
