At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
