just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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