I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize