bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
