i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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