Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
