we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
