so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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