Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
