Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
