sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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