I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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