She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
