I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
