i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
