Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
