just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
