I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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