ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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