why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize