What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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