My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
