The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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