Christians are straight up FREAKS
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
