so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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