Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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