:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
