It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
