he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
