you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
