i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If I die, sorry about rent.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
