Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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