Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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