I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i was born a porn star she said
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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