Whoa Z and x make the same sound
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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