Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
