I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
