So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
