I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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